Falling in love is something that just everybody goes through in their lifetime, even if it’s only once. You begin to realize that being in love is not the hard part when you fall in love with someone-the hard part is trying to maintain the relationship. Every relationship is different, which is why it’s difficult to navigate your way through them. You can’t always use techniques that have worked for you and your other partners in the past. From what we can tell, relationships typically go through 5 stages. The way these bumps are treated on the road will determine how the relationship works out. It’s difficult for a lot of people to recognize these stages in relationships. However, the inability to recognize what is happening in your relationship can easily cause it to fall apart. When you and your partner go through them, learning to recognise these stages and how they affect your relationship will be helpful.
- The Romance Stage:When we fall in love with somebody, it’s hard for us to recognize their bad qualities. We get so caught up in the pure fascination we have for them that we fail to see anything wrong with them. While we see our partners through a mirror of perfection, they see us in the same way as well. But it doesn’t last forever this seemingly endless dream. This stage typically lasts no longer than two years. Let’s dive a little deeper and look at the Romance Stage through the lens of evolution. When the human race developed, nature wanted to create something that would not eradicate our species. Therefore, human beings were born with reproductive organs and mechanisms of thought to express our emotions to each other. When nature began to evolve, the feeling we now call love was eventually developed by humans. This allowed us to bond and form intimate relationships with each other. We tend to fall in love with someone who wouldn’t normally be considered compatible with us when we fall in love, however. While we may see them as someone who fulfils all our wishes, they also have the potential to do the opposite. But why would nature want us to fall in love with such an incompatible person? We usually fall in love with people because their features of personality are different to ours. This makes it possible for us to blend like pieces of a puzzle. The positive traits of this person make up for our bad ones and vice versa. And it creates a new piece when you bring these two pieces of puzzle together A piece without which the puzzle can never be complete. A piece of nature more resilient and more likely to survive and ensure the continuation of the human species. When we look back on it, we often wonder how we could have fallen in love with somebody who was so different from ourselves. But nature intended for us to fall in love, and it made sure we would – by having our brains release what we call “feel-good” hormones – including oxytocin, phenylethylamine, serotonin, and dopamine. These hormones give aid to a biochemical process that rids us of stressors and fills us with infatuation. This is why it’s so hard for us to recognize our partner’s flaws. These hormones hide our flaws and encourage us to do whatever we can to keep the romance alive. Even though we’re not lying to our friends, we’re wearing a mask of worship. Removing this mask and exposing who we are may cause our partner to leave, so we’re going to just keep it going. Understanding this, you should focus on bringing up rather difficult topics with them to prevent any big confrontations or misunderstanding with your partner. Such as whether you want children or not or whether you want to get married. Although this infatuation stage makes it seem like everything is fine and peachy, it inevitably wears off. At this point in time, you may look at your partner and realize out of nowhere that they’re the most incompatible person to yourself that you could ever think of. It tends to occur when either of you begins to think about a kind of relationship permanence. This could include dating exclusively, moving in together, getting engaged, or whatever else may worry you when it comes to permanency. This is where the next stage kicks in.
- The Power Struggle Stage: When we think of relationships, we tend to think of the picture-perfect ones that we see in movies or read about in novels. This makes it easy for us to believe that our relationships can never be ideal unless they are the same as those depicted by us. This stage causes a lot of stress and pain among partners because you disintegrated before your eyes the peachy keen love you once had. We substitute these missing feelings with anger often, which in itself leads to more problems. We stop focusing on what used to make our partners seem so perfect, and we begin to recognize only what makes them seem almost repulsive to us. Normally one of them will be removed when couples go through this stage in their relationship. They feel betrayed because their partner has turned into a completely different person from the one they originally fell in love with. When one partner does this, the other will pursue them by demanding attention (all the while feeling afraid of being emotionally abandoned). While for most couples this stage is usually very difficult, it also provides the opportunity to look into yourself and regain your relationship independence. Sometimes this stage takes a toll on people, and they start to think that all their efforts were just a waste and it would take too much work to rebuild what they once had. This is when people begin to break up-to pursue someone they think would be better suited to them. That’s why most divorces occur during this time as well.
- Stability Stage: When, respectively, you and your partner learn to challenge each other on your problems and also identify your own issues, you are moving on to this stage. After getting through the bumps in the road, you and your partner fall into a deeper and more thrilling love than ever before. Although you may have wanted to at first, you now realize that you cannot change your partner, and you have no wish to try anymore. You see them for everything that they are, the good and the bad, and you’re willing to accept it. While most people would like to place themselves in this stage of a relationship, doing so will make it easy for them to get bored. After a while, you may begin to realize that the thrill of being in love is wandering away, and you need something special to keep it alive. Partners solve these problems usually by building shared experiences and maintaining a sense of adventure in their relationship.
- The Commitment Stage:When it comes to relationships or partnerships, people often associate commitment with marriage – even though that’s not typically what this stage is supposed to represent. But … while many people make the mistake of getting married while still in their relationship’s engagement stage, this is the period where you and your partner are truly ready for marriage. When you and your partner reach this stage, you have both realized that you don’t need each other, you both want each other. You’ve recognized that you both have faults and neither of you are perfect. But even if you know these limitations, you still want to be with each other, and both of you fall into an endless wave of happy, adventurous independence. With that said, many people trick themselves into believing that since they’ve gotten this far, and it feels so good, that their work as a team must be done. People also often prefer to abandon their own life goals and spend more time instead with their significant other. And, unless they retain their emotional connection, they become lazy. The truth is, you both grow and evolve, so your work as a couple is never done-you will always have to find each other again.
- The Bliss Stage: Once you’ve reached this stage, you and your partner become consciously aware of your love for each other and you decide to move out into the world to show it. And since nature has given you life and the ability to create such a happy experience together, it is now calling on you to give back. Lots of couples decide to give back to society by donating to charities, raising children, volunteering in their community, or starting a family business. But remember… if you and your partner have been together for a long time, you must be sure to continue nurturing your relationship so problems don’t arise. Although relationships can be tough sometimes, it’s important to learn how to handle things effectively. Falling in love isn’t something that occurs all the time. And when you begin to recognize the stages in your relationship, it becomes easier to deal with them properly. Remember that it’s natural to lose certain feelings for people at times, and not everything lasts forever. But that doesn’t mean you’ve got to regret that. All in all, putting in the time and effort to nurture your relationship will pay off in unimaginable ways. What do you think? If you’re in a relationship, what stage are you in at the moment? And what do you find the most challenging about that stage? Let us know in the comments below!